It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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