my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
