so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
