You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
