3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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