I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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