come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
