I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
