i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
