Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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