This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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