nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You ever have a fart follow you around?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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