If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
