My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Randomize