When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
