Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize