it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
