thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
