Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
