Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
