At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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