Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
