You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
