if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
They have beer where we have blood.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
