Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
