Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
