So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
