No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
