Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
