think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
