if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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