did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
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