my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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