He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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