Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize