About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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