six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
