ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
