Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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