Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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