omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
