He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
