Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
she smelled like a LAN party
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
