you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
