Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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