She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
