My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
