Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
