the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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