we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
