And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
