Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He uses pillows to masturbate.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
