There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
