Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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