He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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