i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
