He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
