I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
